My World, My Heart, My Soul
by angel-death-dealer
Summary: There was nothing left to do now, except to hold on to her, and wait for the world to end. Reed holding Sue in her final moments.


**This is that heart-wretching scene from Rise of the Silver Surfer. Only, this time, there's a different ending to that scene. I know that I, as was everyone else, was glad that Sue was revived...but what was going through Reed's head up until that moment? What was he thinking when the woman he loved more than anything was dying in his arms? I know that it's going to be sad, and because of that, I wrote it in the same style that I'm writing September 25th in. For those who haven't read that story,** the normal text is the prose**, the bold text is song lyric from LeAnn Rimes - How Do I Live,** _and italics are quotes from Reed and Sue that have happened in the past.  
_

* * *

It was as if the whole world had collapsed around him; and he wasn't even paying attention to the fact that this metaphor for the destruction in his life was really happening. It didn't matter that the winds whipping around him were steadily reaching what might become hurricane force, and it was of no importance that the night sky above him, previously one of the beautiful starry nights he'd have studied for hours on end, was now shielded by a thick covering of angry storm clouds. He didn't care to acknowledge that these clouds showed no end to their density, and his subconscious told him that these clouds were closer than most thought, perhaps already invading their atmosphere in a more intrusive manner then just their presence above the world. He didn't register the ground shaking beneath his feet, or the crowd of people around him running for cover beneath any available shelter. None of that mattered. Not anymore. 

What mattered was Sue.

_"Ah, Reed."  
__"Yes, Dr. Storm?"  
__"I'd like to introduce you to someone. This is Susan, my eldest child."  
__"Hi."  
__"Hi."  
__"Honestly, Susan. So quiet! I tell you, Reed, she's a chatterbox once she gets going."  
__"Dad!"_

**How do I get through one night without you?**

Susan Storm, the strong woman who could easily match them in terms of power and strength. He'd once thought she was the strongest woman in the world, especially with her past turning her into an adult before rites of passage had seen her through to her adolescence, even. She was the only woman of their team; regarded worldwide as not only unspeakably beautiful, but also one of the most intelligent women in existence.

_"I'm going to say hello to Sue."  
__"You're obsessed with her, man."  
__"I'm not obsessed. I'm...interested."_

**If I had to live without you**

Reed staggered onto the street, still disorientated from his own crash landing, and it was no surprise to him that she was the first thing he saw. Even when there was disruption all around him, a shining silver being, and a maniac on a flying surfboard, she was the first person he spotted in a crowd. Even during one time when crazed fans had dressed up in wigs and costumes similar to her own, he'd managed to instantly spot her out amongst the look-a-likes. He'd found her, running against the crowd of civilians escaping the chaos. Instead of fleeing from it, Sue was running towards it; worse, she was running right into its path.

_"So, I guess MIT is like the family business for you."  
__"Kinda, but I came for my own reasons."  
__"What are they?"  
__"I guess I've just always had my head in the clouds. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to go to the stars."_

**What kind of life would that be?**

He watched, completely immobilized in a fearful anticipation as Sue came to a standing halt before the Surfer's form. Fear pulsed through his veins as a flash of silver and black from the other side of the street alerted his attention. He knew what she was going to do. The Surfer wasn't going to protect himself from Victor's attack, so she was going to protect him herself, so that he could go on to save the world as he'd promised to do. He was going to lure Galactus away, but he wouldn't have a chance to do that if Victor's new power diminished him before he even attempted his trap.

Victor extended his hand into the air, silver matter rippling on the surface of the board much as it had done when he had drawn energy to project at them before. Reed tried to fight his way through the crowds of people, a hard task due to their desperation to escape, mesmerized by the sight of energy making its way through their rival's body, settling in the palm of his hand. Once congealed, it elongated into the shape of a silver spear, and a flash of blue at the other side of the street showed that Sue had projected her force field around both herself and the Surfer.

_"Let's make a pact."  
__"Reed, are you kidding me?"  
__"No, I'm being serious. Completely serious."  
__"You want to make a pact?"  
__"Yes."  
__"Okay, what kind of pact?"  
__"That one day, we'll go to the starts. One day, when we're out of school, when the only studying we do is for our world famous theories, we'll go into space and we'll see the stars."_

**Oh I, I need you in my arms**

The spear impaled her smoothly, bursting through the force field, that had only dropped once the shock overtook her. Reed stopped breathing at that moment, seeing the usual sight of his fiancée across the street from him tainted with a silver spear that showed from both her chest, and her back. It had gone through her force field with such ease, such precision, that for a moment, Sue appeared more affected by the shock that something had managed to pass through her shield, rather than the realization that the object which had passed through it had mortally wounded her.

"Sue!" Reed found himself yelling, his voice reaching volumes that he'd never reached before as he fought with a new determination towards the woman he loved.

_"See! It's just an infusion of two molecular devises!"  
__"Whoa. You're right."  
__"So, What do you think?"  
__"I think you're quickly becoming my perfect woman."_

**Need you to hold**

Sue's head turned, locking eyes with her fiancé as Reed fought his way towards her. Only a few people now separated them from each other, and in the midst of many screaming voices, his had been immediately indistinguishable from the others, filled with nothing more than a heartbreaking devastation that was painful to hear for anyone. As he broke through the final bodied barrier that separated them, an icy pain started to spread through Sue's body too quickly for her to comprehend, and Reed was startled for a moment when the spear disappeared in Victor's absence.

She started to fall, surrendering to gravity's will when her legs gave way beneath her, but she never felt herself reach the street beneath her. Reed had already skidded to a halt on the ground next to her, catching her in the perfect moment before she reached the cold hard ground, which only would have caused her more pain. She fell limp into his arms, feeling his usually elasticized arms become extremely rigid as he held her tightly. Impulse took over, as did the sight of the deep, penetrating wound in her chest.

"Sue..." He muttered to her, looking down at her dazed face.

She looked up at him, and he could see that she was already fighting consciousness. His heart would have fallen inside of his chest, but it had already dropped beyond repair, and could fall no further. If she slipped into unconsciousness, he was afraid she'd never wake up again, especially with the magnitude of her wound. Victor's spear had pierced her through and through, and Reed had to control himself when it came to holding her against him. Part of him wanted to hold her so tightly against him that it would be impossible for her to leave him, but the rational part of his mind took over, telling him that by doing that, he'd only cause her more pain than necessary.

_"So, you love her."  
__"Yeah."  
__"Does she know that?"  
__"I don't know."_

**You're my world, my heart, my soul**

Her beautiful blue eyes were round and moist, glistening with fear as she blinked rapidly. She struggled to focus on something around her; anything, until her eyes found his, and he held her gaze fiercely. He gathered her more tightly in his arms, cradling her head gently as he had done a thousand times at home when she was sleeping, only this time, he was mindful of the wound she bore. The entire front of her navy uniform was covered in blood, her blood, and it was this blood that reminded him that this wasn't a matter of lifting her into bed for the night. No, this was much more intense than that.

_"For such a man of science, you have extraordinary faith in your love for my daughter."_

**If you ever leave**

"Reed..." She whispered, pain lost in her voice as it was overcome with fear.

His heart pounded. They'd been through so much over the years, but he'd never, not once, heard her sound so afraid before. He swore at himself, unsure whether or not he said it aloud, but he didn't care. He should have been there sooner. He should have been able to do something, anything, to prevent Victor making that shot, especially at her. He never should have made them split up. They should have taken their chances as a team. It was obvious now that Victor would have chased after Sue, as she shared her compartment with the Surfer. He shouldn't have made her fend for the two of them. He should have been with her sooner. After all, that was his job, right? That was what a fiancé was supposed to do. It was his soul purpose for living. If he couldn't keep Sue safe, what else couldn't he do?

_"Hey. I didn't expect to see you tonight."  
__"Your father made me leave the lab. He thinks I'm over-exerting myself."  
__"So do I."_

**Baby, you would take away everything good in my life**

"Oh, God..." He almost whimpered, feeling the bile rising in his throat, but choking it down as he raised one arm, bringing his hand to her cheek. "Susie..."

He watched as her lips rose slightly in the corners as she heard him speaking. However, he was unable to meet her smile, despite the presence of memories that flooded him. Hearing him call her 'Susie' had always made her smile, even though Ben, Johnny, and her father also called her that. Somehow, though, it felt more special when Reed had said it. Perhaps it was because he had stood, holding her in his arms, whispering it into her ear in the tone of voice that only a lover can use. This was not one of those romantic times, though. He wasn't showing her the view from the Baxter Building. He wasn't taking her out on a date. He wasn't proposing to her. He wasn't marrying her, like they'd intended on doing several times now.

This was serious...wasn't it?

This could be the end.

_"You guys have been arguing for weeks now. The way I see it, you're hanging on by a thread. What happens if that thread breaks?"  
__"Sometimes, a thread is enough."_

**And tell me now**

"It's all right, Sue, you're going to be okay? You hear me? You're going to be fine." As much as he tried to convince her, he was stumbling over his words. He wasn't the best of men with words at a normal time, let alone at a time like this. What could he say to make the pain go away? What could he do to make her feel better? Anything? Nothing?

_"I need you more than I care to admit, and I should have told you that sooner. People wanted us to get together from day one when we arrived here, and we denied it, because we didn't want to admit that it might actually mean something."_

**How do I live without you?**

He leaned over his shoulder, taking his eyes away from her for just a second to collect himself. He was planning on preventing his tears from spilling out over her, mixing with the blood that was still rapidly escaping her, but his eyes fell upon the distant forms of Ben and Johnny, who were fighting tooth and nail to destroy Victor. This should have made him feel better, but it didn't. The vengeance in their eyes could be seen even from a great distance, and that told him all they need to know.

They feared the worst, and as he looked back over Sue, who was looking even more disorientated than she had done only a second before, he understood why.

_"Sue, I want you to know that I'm in love with you, and I have been for a long time now."_

**I want to know**

Sue was dying.

_"What?"  
__"Nothing."  
__"No, really, what?"  
__"I just...really can't get over how beautiful you look."_

**How do I breathe without you?**

"Reed." She said, drawing out his name in a long exhale.

He shook his head, welling up with tears once again at the sound of her frail, weakened voice. "Don't try to talk." He told her softly, unable to bare the possibility of her dying. His eyes were pleading with her constantly, to stop, to breathe, to hold on...

"Go...go stop Victor." She managed to tell him, despite the pain it clearly caused her to speak. "You have to get the board."

As always, she was thinking about their mission, rather than herself. That had been proved by the way she had just thrown her vulnerable body in the way of Victor's spear. She'd always looked out for others before herself. She'd done it from the start, and still hadn't stopped, even when she had Reed looking out for her twice as much as anyone else did, even her brother.

_"What should I do?"  
__"Just follow your heart."  
__"What do you think my heart says?"  
__"I don't know, Reed. I'm not your heart."  
__"You're most of it."_

**If you ever go**

He shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere." He told her stubbornly. "I'm not losing you."

_"I failed, Sue. I failed the project. I failed the paper. I failed your father. I'm a failure. What if it's you I fail next?"  
__"Nothing you do will ever make me feel failed by you."_

**How do I ever, ever survive?**

"Before he hurts anyone else..." She trailed off, and Reed's pounding heart almost stopped altogether when her eyelids started to flutter closed. However, she simply coughed, rather wheezily, and then resumed her pleading with him. "You can do this...it's why you're here..." She gave him a sweet smile, something he wouldn't have thought possible given the dire situation and the amount of pain she was in. "It's why I love you."

At that, the tears started spilling out. He didn't care whether or not he looked ridiculous, even to her. She was dying. She knew she was dying, and she was asking him to leave her side, and to carry on fighting? Without her there, what was the use in fighting? There would be no world left for him if she wasn't there to share it with him. He wasn't ready to lose her yet. He needed her to stay. He needed to see those eyes, no matter how much pain they were filled with. He needed her to be alive. He couldn't lose her. Not now. Not with so much behind them, and so much left to come.

_"You're the only boy who ever made me cry, and I realized that if you could make me cry, I must really love you."_

**How do I?**

"Sue, please, just stay with me." He urged her.

"It hurts too much...I can't..." She told him in a pitiful voice that wasn't her own. No, Reed heard a voice tell him. This wasn't Sue. Sue was strong. Susan Storm, soon to be Susan Richards. She was strong. She was a survivor.

"Yes, you can." He told her; fully aware that he didn't sound too convincing to her when he had tears streaming down his cheeks in a steady flow. He didn't know how much time she had left. It could be over in minutes for all he knew...seconds, even. It might already be too late. There was so much blood. "You have to. Don't leave me, okay?"

_"I'm not this amazing person that you think I am, Sue. I'm just me...just Reed."  
__"That's what makes you so amazing."_

**How do I?**

She gave him a weak, tired smile through her pain. "I love you."

_"Why are you in such a good mood, Sue?"  
__"I realized something last night."  
__"And what's that?"  
__"That I love you."_

**Oh, how do I live?**

"I love you too, but you're going to be all right." He told her, horrified to hear the goodbye she was putting into her voice. It was bad enough that his own hope was fading, let alone hers. "Please, just stay with me. Hold on."

"I'll try." She said, as strongly as she could.

_"Is this your new way of saying sorry?"  
__"Well, I'm still working on it...you know, I'm not very good with words."  
__"No, you're not."  
__"So, does it work? My new way of saying sorry?"  
__"Yeah, it does."_

**Without you, there'd be no sun in my sky**

He started to wonder what he was asking her to hold on for. Amidst the chaos, there was no chance of getting her to a hospital, or any one that could save her. Hope, it appeared, had truly failed them. That's why he wasn't getting to his feet and carrying her to a hospital. That's why she knew it was too much to fight. They both knew, because she wasn't going to make it. Sue had been fighting her whole life, and now, there wasn't much fight left inside of her; at least, not enough to fight off death.

At that moment, the street filled with darkness, and what had once been a starry night turned into a sheet of the deepest black. A loud rumbling came from the sky above them. The chaos around them intensified, but Reed was unaware of it. He paid no attention to the absence of the rest of their team, and he was certainly not aware of the Surfer's presence still. Instead, he continued to hold Sue gently, cradling her in his arms with the utmost tenderness, despite the violent trembling of the ground beneath them. Remaining civilians were running for cover, hiding from the dark cloud that kept coming closer and closer, making them all realize this was no natural thunderstorm. However, in their desperation for safety, they ignored the superhero couple on the ground. No attention was paid to the dying woman and the man who loved her. No one watched him try to comfort her, attempting to make what they both knew to be her last minutes as comfortable as possible. No one paid attention to them.

_"Reed, I am awake you know."  
__"I know."  
__"I hate people watching me sleep."  
__"Ah, but you said that you're not asleep, so I'm free to watch all I want."_

**There would be no love in my life**

Reed held her fast against him, blocking out the dying world around them. She shouldn't have to see the world she would die protecting failing around them. With her close to him, everything else was blocked out from around them. He knew that her blood was now staining the front of his own uniform, as he could feel the warm liquid against his stomach and chest, but he didn't look down to see it. He couldn't. His eyes were still trained on her face.

_"I know I'm not perfect by the world's standards. Let's face it, I don't even come close, but I love you, and when you tell me that, I feel perfect."_

**There'd be no world left for me**

He couldn't leave her. He wouldn't, no matter how much she insisted the world was more important than her. Of course, she knew how important the fate of the world was to Reed, the leader of the most prestigious superhero team in the world, but she failed to realize that she _was _his world, and that her fate was what he protected with all his heart. That's why he couldn't leave her. On a beautiful night, as they'd held each other underneath the stars, he'd told her that no matter what, he was never going to leave her. They were going to face anything and everything together. That was their agreement. It was even part of the vows they were still waiting to exchange at their wedding. He couldn't back out on them now, not when she needed him the most. Whether or not they'd said them before a priest, they still applied to them.

More tears formed in his eyes, flowing out over the ones that already stained his cheeks, and if he wasn't biting his lip to prevent the lump in his throat from bursting, it would have engulfed him. He shut his eyes tightly, and memories of the life they had shared together started to run through his head...

_"Long way from the projection booth at the Hayden Planetarium, isn't it?"  
__"Yes, yes it is."_

**And I, oh baby, I don't know what I would do**

...Sitting on the grounds of M.I.T, her head on his chest as they watched the stars above them, with no one else around at such a late hour to interrupt their moment...

_"What did I say?"  
__"It's never what you say. It's what you don't say. What you don't do..."_

**I'd be lost if I lost you**

...Being lab partners through the most important four years of their lives, and those celebratory hugs when their experiments had been correct...and not to forget the one that had been a kiss, witness by the entire lab...

_"When I walked out, I waited ten minutes outside your door. Ten. Waiting for you to come find me."  
__"Why didn't you say something?"  
__"That would have defeated the purpose."_

**If you ever leave**

...The heartbreaking look in her eyes when she had walked out of his door because of his fear of commitment...

_"It's okay. Go to sleep."  
__"Reed, this isn't my bed."  
__"No, it's mine."_

**Baby, you would take away everything real in my life**

...That first time he'd seen her back at VDI, working for his rival, but denying that she loved him still...oh, how he'd fallen for her all over again...

_"Things are different now."  
__"But that doesn't mean they can't be good."_

**And tell me now**

...Learning how to dance from the girl who danced like a professional, locked away in his dorm room with 80's love ballads drifting in the background...

_"I love you. I never told you that enough. I never told you a lot of things."  
__"Yes, you did. You just didn't say them with words."_

**How do I live without you?**

...The first time he had shown her the view from the Baxter Building, a sunset on a Sunday afternoon...

_"I never stopped loving you. Don't ever think that."_

**I want to know**

...The vision of her in her wedding dress from the fourth time they'd attempted to tie the knot; that perfect dress she'd known she'd wear from the minute she set eyes on it...

_"Go back to sleep."  
__"How did you know I was awake?"  
__"I always know, Sue."  
__"It's been two years since we've been in the same bed."  
__"And I still know."_

**How do I breathe without you?**

Nothing could have prepared him for this. Even if they had lived for a million years together, he wouldn't have been able to prepare himself for this terrible moment. His worst nightmare was becoming a certain reality. He couldn't think. He couldn't speak. All he was managing to do was breathe, and keep holding Sue against him. It was as if, as long as he was holding her, she wouldn't be able to leave him. He tried to come up with another solution; anything other than the finality of holding her dying form in his arms, but no matter how many ideas darted from the corners of his mind, nothing worked.

He dipped his head, kissing her lips softly with his own. When he pulled back, he attempted to keep her long, blowing hair away from her face, but the wind around them made it almost impossible. Her brow furrowed every few seconds as she winced in pain from her injury, and he felt his heart starting to break when a soft moan escaped her mouth. She'd lost too much blood now.

"Just relax." He whispered to her, touching her face with the same tenderness he always had done. "Think about how our life's going to be...a nice house in the country...kids playing in the yard..."

It wouldn't be long now.

_"It's nothi-"  
__"Don't tell me it's nothing. I know something's wrong."  
__"Am I that transparent?"  
__"You are when you want to be."_

**If you ever go**

He broke off when his voice caught in his throat. He couldn't speak those words, even to himself, when he knew that this life was never going to happen for them now. If they'd done this sooner, it might have been a reality for them. They could have married sooner after their engagement, shied away from the public eye and started their family. They'd have children now, one, maybe two. They'd have a life; their own life, unwatched by the world, and surviving everything. They were, after all, a team. She was his fiancée. A team, within the team. He and Sue were partners in the way that the Fantastic Four as a whole could never be. They had each other's backs. They were soul mates. They were meant to survive anything and everything, as long as they did it together. They were supposed to go to the stars and back a million times before they were taken away from each other.

_"It's okay, Sue. I'm not going to die."  
__"He was going to kill you."  
__"And as long as he didn't hurt you, I would have been okay with that."_

**How do I ever, ever survive?**

She smiled slowly. "That sounds so nice." She whispered, only heard by Reed because of the rushing of air that surrounded them. However, they were oblivious to this chaos, still staring into each others eyes, fearful that the moment they looked away; they would be parted from each other. Reed couldn't stop speaking to her, assuring her that she would be okay, his words punctuated by Sue's whimpers and cries of pain as she clung to him as best she could.

He couldn't lose her. Not now, not so soon. They were supposed to have a lifetime together, not just a few years.

_"Now, have you kissed the bride to be?"  
__"No, not lately."_

**How do I?**

If he hadn't been so sure that she'd never get hurt, he would have been there to stop it. Or, if he had fought harder, he could have prevented Victor from being near her. So many 'ifs' blurred his vision, but nothing blocked the realization that if she really died, it would be his fault. Any minute now, she'd be gone, and he'd lose the only woman he'd ever truly loved...all because he wasn't watching out for her.

_"You deserve more than being invisible, Sue."_

**How do I?**

She was still beautiful, even with the fear of death creeping over her. Her eyes might have lost their playful glitter, which flared whenever she was in her element, but they were still inviting oceans of blue, compelling him to look into them whenever he was near her. She was still the woman he had fallen in love with. Even now, at the very end, he had no doubt that he loved and needed her more than anything in the entire universe.

He watched her grimace, as another wave of pain hit her; and it hit hard. Her breathing worsened and her need for breath reached a critical level for her, with her injured chest heaving several times in a vain attempt to fill her empty lungs. Reed could do nothing but watch her worriedly, telling her over and over again that he loved her, thinking back through years of knowledge to try and thin that he could do for her; anything. But there was nothing. There was nothing he could do, except to hold her, and keep on looking into those blue eyes until he couldn't hold his eyes open for a second longer.

_"How do I look?"  
__"For the record, that's a question you never have to ask."_

**Oh, how do I live?**

And then, it all stopped. Any need for breath deserted her as her chest rose and fell for the last time. The final time.

_"Sue, I don't know what will happen now."  
__"Just promise me that we'll do it together. Whatever happens, whatever comes, we'll handle it together."  
__"Whatever happens, whatever comes...know that I love you."_

**Please, tell me baby**

The cries stopped.

The whimpers stopped.

The frantic movements and squirming stopped.

And Reed's heart stopped alongside of them.

_"I just...don't know how to explain what I'm feeling."  
__"That doesn't sound like you."  
__"I know."  
__"Let me guess...whenever you close your eyes, they're the last person on your mind, and when you're trying to do something, you can't stop thinking about them, and when you're around them, the whole world just stops and you can't take your eyes off of them..."  
__"Reed?"  
__"Am I right?"_

**How do I go on?**

"Sue...Susan?" He asked, frowning slightly. He tried to think of another explanation for why she had fallen so still, but a large lump in his throat and the hot pricks in the corner of his eyes told him the simple truth. She wasn't breathing. She wasn't moving. She wasn't crying. She wasn't whimpering...because she wasn't breathing.

If she wasn't breathing...then she was...

"No...Please, God, no." He pleaded over her unmoving body. "Sue, wake up! You can't do this to me, Sue, wake up!" Sue had stopped breathing. Her blue eyes had closed on the world. She was lying in his arms, not moving, not breathing. Dead. All because he'd not been there sooner.

_"So, you're all psyched up...do you think you can go tell the poor girl that you love her now?"  
__"Yeah, I think so."  
__"Good for you. Now, go find her."  
__"I love you."  
__"Reed, you're my best friend, and I love you too, now, go find her and tell her."  
__"No, you don't understand. You're the girl I love, Sue."_

**If you ever leave**

He'd never get to see her wake up again. He'd never get to tell her that he loved her again. He'd never told her that enough, and now he'd never get to say it again. He should have been watching her. He should have been with her sooner. How could he have been so careless?

He'd never realized how serious he was when he told her that he couldn't live without her. Having her at the other side of the country, not knowing how she was doing, or how she was feeling...that was hard enough. He didn't know what he would do if she was further away than that. He loved her so much, but he'd always had trouble putting that into words. He told her that he loved her every single day, he made sure of it, but he rarely told her how much, or at least, he didn't tell her as much as she needed to be told.

She was laying still now, her arms draped over her chest in the position they had fallen still in. She was deathly pale, and her golden hair, laced with trails of blood from a minor injury, was hanging beneath her like a halo. She didn't look dead. She looked like she was sleeping; however, her cheeks where a white-grey colour, and when Reed bent down to kiss her one final time, her lips were already cold, and didn't warm no matter how long he lingered there. Her angelic appearance struck him so much that he didn't notice for a moment the chaos that this meant.

_"Where is this going?"  
__"Somewhere good, I hope."_

**Baby you would take away everything**

The leader of the Fantastic Four, who had become a man of greatness in the past few years, who was always confident when the occasion called for it, who always knew what to do, who always had a second plan when things went wrong, was reduced to nothing when he realized that his wife-to-be was really never going to come back.

_"Do you believe in omens?"  
__"What do you mean?"  
__"You know, signs that bad things are going to happen?"  
__"No, I don't. I think that people need to look for reasons that bad things happen, but...sometimes there just aren't any."_

**Need you with me**

A burning sensation behind his eyelids caused him to blink rapidly, and it was soon followed by a thick lump choking up his throat. He felt his own strength, which had been wavering from the second he had seen her hit, start to disappear completely as he lifted her body closer to his, no longer caring about the wound that had killed her. As he did so, he bowed his head down, so that the world was shielded from him. He tried to control his breathing as everything began to overwhelm him, but it was only a matter of seconds before his breaths turned into sobs. His cries were uncontrollable; nothing had brought so much pain in him for years and at the same time, his sleep deprivation combined with anxiety didn't help matters as tears continued to pour from his eyes, dripping down onto Sue's unmoving face. He'd never felt so completely helpless before. So helpless, yet so to blame. He didn't care how much others would assure him that things had been out of their control. Sue was his fiancée, the love of his life, and it he'd done his job and taken care of her like he was supposed to do, she would be okay.

_"You know something?"  
__"What?"  
__"...nothing. It's stupid."  
__"Tell me."  
__"I um...I used to get dragged to church a lot, as a child...and I hated it. So, I'd just stare at the angels on the ceiling, and they always had this beautiful golden hair...like yours...so, you just remind me of an angel, I guess."_

**Baby, don't you know that you're everything good in my life?**

In a child-like way, he half expected her to open her eyes, her beautiful eyes, and smile at him, telling him that he worried about her too much. He buried his face into her hair, already flooded with anguish as he tried to fight off the images in his mind that were now painful rather than happy. Her bright face, always loving even when she was made at him, all those times she'd worn a wedding dress as she walked towards him, looking more beautiful than she had ever done in her entire life...everything overwhelmed him, and he couldn't fight it off. All the memories served to do was remind him that he wasn't going to have any of those happy times anymore.

Because she was gone.

_"You came looking for me?"  
"I'll always come looking for you."_

**And tell me now**

He swore that he knew what dying felt like at that moment, as he looked down at her still body, knowing that it was never again going to move. He'd lost the only person he had ever loved, and this wasn't going to change whether or not they ended up saving the world. She would never come back. It wasn't fair that this had happened. Not to Sue. She was an amazing woman, a fantastic woman, who had given him a life to live for, and she had been taken away from him. She wasn't going to be coming home from this mission, nor the next, or ever again.

_"I'm not strong enough."  
"Yes, you are."_

**How do I live without you?**

Did she remember all their times together as she had passed? Would she go on to a better place, and take their memories with her? Did she remember that they would always be the first two people awake, and that they'd eat breakfast together on the veranda, no matter how much Johnny complained that they hadn't saved any breakfast for him? Did she remember their first kiss, where the tables had turned and she'd turned into the shy one as he dipped his lips to hers on the dance floor, kissing her until she felt dizzy from the high? Did she remember how he had stood by her through everything? Did she remember how much he'd loved her?

_"We're never going to be normal again, are we?"  
"No, we're not, but that doesn't mean we can't change things for the better."_

**I want to know**

He wasn't sure for how long he held her and cried, but he knew that it was too long for there to be any chance of her returning to him. Yet still, no one came to his side. When he lifted his head some time later, tear streaks still staining his cheeks, he saw the shaking shoulders of Johnny as he leaned into the comforting shoulder of Ben Grimm. It was strange to see the two drawing strength from each other, but the loss of their team mate, the loss of their family, had ignited a new need in the pair. Johnny had lost his sister, so he was turning to the person who was the most like a brother to him.

_"Do you really think we can do this?"  
"I know we can."_

**How do I breathe without you?**

Neither of the pair approached him, and he was glad for that. He as holding the body of his fiancée, the woman he loved, and no one could say anything to him that would make that any easier. He didn't need to hear that, no matter how much he wanted her to come back, that she was in a better place. There was no better place for her than at his side. He wouldn't believe the people who told him that things were going to be okay, because he didn't see how they could be. Sue was gone, when she should still be with them. That wasn't right at all.

_"You love me, and I certainly love you. It doesn't matter how many interruptions we have, as long as we hold onto that."_

**If you ever go**

An overwhelming grief knotted in his stomach, and pulled at the heart which was already confused and aching from the wave of pain that had been so sudden.

"I love you." He whispered to her, one final time. One last goodbye.

_"We had some good times, didn't we?"  
__"Yeah, we did."_

**How do I ever, ever survive?**

After that, there was nothing left to do but to hold onto her tightly, and wait for the rest of the world to end.

_"I can hear your heartbeat."  
__"I can feel yours."_

**How do I live without you?**

**How do I live without you, baby?**

**How do I live…**


End file.
